if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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