There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
