i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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