I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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