My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
