I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
