Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
