...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
