Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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