Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
