if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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