and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
