Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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