like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
