You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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