She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Houston, we have a blender
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
