You really coming over, don't trick.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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