he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
