Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
