Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
