how can u be prego again
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do vagina's smell?
you didnt know i had herpes?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
