Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
