My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
