Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
