I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my shit smells like andre
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
