and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
