I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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