yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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