the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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