Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
