he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
