i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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