I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
