He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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