I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
