:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
