i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
