he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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