You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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