We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize