so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
