More tranny stories later!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
