Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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