you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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