A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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