tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I will pee on everything he values.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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