This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
