Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
