Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
