If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
