soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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