you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
