She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
