Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
