I cannot find my penis.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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