No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
