Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
