worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
