Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
